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One thing I forgot to mention in my last post is....
Even when I am tired and frustrated. Even when my Ruby cries:
I am happier than I have ever been in my life.
We worked and waited a long time for our precious baby girl and I can not possibly explain the love that fills my heart. It is a huge, sappy, amount of love. And, just like happy poems...lovey dovey posts aren't as juicy and entertaining as the posts where the frazzled author is muttering obscenities under her breath.
But just in case you disagree, here are a lovely couple of pictures for you.
These were taken yesterday morning as the hubs and I hung out with our little babe on the living room floor. We cooed and made love eyes at each other as the morning sun dappled and danced around us.
The coffee was fresh.
The dogs were cute.
The summer CBC programming filled the air.
Basically, all of our wildest dreams about becoming a family were playing out in a perfect vignette of Domestic bliss on the living room floor.
It was a scene we had dreamed about for years...
No matter how cheesy it sounds...
We couldn't be happier.
I know I am not a bad person, nor am I a terrible mom.
And, last night's episode of 4 continuous hours of crying and screaming came as no shock to me.
However, after walking, feeding, changing, bouncing, swaddling, soothing, and rocking -exhaustion set in.
There were some adult sized tears.
Some deal making.
Some under the breath mutterings.
In fact, I think my exact words to my darling one month old baby girl were, " Oh my God Ruby, What the fuck?"
Nice one, mom.
Finally, I set her in the blessed BOB (for a second time) and we wearily trudged off to the park to fetch my husband from his sporting activities/male bonding evening.
He came home with me.
He calmed our daughter.
He calmed me.
I love him.
Once my baby girl was sleeping soundly and my frustration had subsided...
It was quiet again.
It was quiet enough for me to hear my Ruby breathe and dream.
It was quiet enough to feel the love.
My little tamale is so hot right now. Our house is old and it is hot. Our back yard is hot. We are all hot.
She is not happy about being hot. She does not like cool baths and the cold compresses aren't winning any popularity contests either...
Side note:
Question: How fun is wearing a pad 24/7 in the heat?
Answer: Wicked awesome fun! Woot! I feel ever so fresh and sexy.
Any hoo...
The good news is that although she is ornery right now, (No, I am not ignoring her, it's the Hubster's turn) and on most evenings from 6 to midnight-ish... she has blessed us with a couple of long night time sleeps. In the last few nights she has slept bouts of 4 1/2, 5 and once even 6 hours! I know, right?
I am trying not to get my hopes up about this sleeping business, but it has been a nice treat.
Other great news:
1)It seems fur baby number one loves human baby number one as much as we do. No, this picture was not a set up. And, what's even cuter...After Stanley went about licking her hands, we asked him if he loves baby Ruby and he started wagging his tail. Awwww...
2) I had my first Gin and Tonic in ten months. YUMMY!
So, all is well here with our little family. Our 4 week check up with the midwife is on Tuesday. I can't believe how fast time is flying.
I am savoring every moment.
Yes, even the hot, ornery ones.
Ruby~ 3 weeks. Just in case you were wondering...this photo of a super bundled up baby was not taken on a hot day. Dang BC weather! You were probably thinking, "No wonder she's pissed, Lisa, ya moron...Look at the freakin' parka you have her in!"
Yesterday, for the first time since my precious daughter was born, I felt human.
Not that I had been feeling at all bad. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I've been completely blissed out. Blissed out and freakin' tired. So tired that other humans...the ones apart from the Hubs and wee Ruby, just didn't make sense.
And by that I mean: I was not able to make any sense out of normal human conversation or interaction. I was unable to formulate any sort of sentences of my own or follow any sort of plot line. I've had the attention span of a gnat.
For example: Since the day I went into labour, a juicy little copy of "Life and Style" magazine lay unopened on my coffee table.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday I socialized, napped, ran errands and read literature that was completely non baby related. Today has been fairly normal too.
Could it be that I am adjusting to motherhood?
Weird.
Ruby is 3 weeks old. But really, it seems like one long day/night since she arrived in our life. I can't imagine life without her.
She is so freakin' cute. She loves The Boobie and is a nursing champion. Not surprising seeing as her dad and I are both real foodies. In fact , apart from having not mastered the art of graceful public breast feeding, the two of us seem to have developed an awesome system. She is thriving and so far my nipples have been up for the challenge. We are both very lucky.
She also loves going for drives and walks in her Bob stroller. She loves it when Nicholas plays the guitar. She usually loves her Ergo Baby and the vibrating Fisher Price Chair that our friend Christina lent us.She likes pooping. She likes sleeping but sometimes has a hard time figuring out how to make that happen. We are trying to help her in that department.
So far she is not to keen on baths, slings or getting changed. She does not like having a wet diaper, which is good because she lets us know right away when she needs to be changed. Oh, and for those of you who were asking: she wears kushies cloth diapers from the Cinderella Diaper Service.
So far the cloth diapers are great. They do leak a bit , especially when she has a big blow out of curried oatmeal poop soup, but I think they're going to be okay. It seems that since she has gained a bit of weight, they are leaking less.
As far as my postpartum physique is concerned...
Whoa... Or: Dude, where's my body? I'm not even going to get into it right now because it wouldn't be right. But when the time is right you'll be hearing all about it. The up side is that I have cleavage for the first time in my life.
My midwife hasn't given me clearance for restarting my exercise routines yet and cutting down on the eating is most certainly not an option for the nursing (read: ravenous) mother. Needless to say, I won't be wearing a bikini this summer ...
I guess I am destined to wear my stretchy black yoga pants for a little while longer.
Even for me and my silly ego...
It's worth it.
All in all, we have been blessed.
And I do believe that Ruby is a good baby. Everyone asks me if she's good and I always say, "I think so".
Of course, I have no point of reference.
Either way, she's ours and we love her.
Our Precious.
Our Ruby.
Ruby is just over two weeks old now.
So much magic ... so little time.
Little things happen each moment that are so special. So blogworthy.
And yet there is no time for blogging. Heck, there's no time for sleeping or pooping either.
Our little family is existing in a total dream state. Some where between boob drunk and love drunk.
I imagine in a week or two I'll be able to put to words all of this joy.
I'll be writing endless posts about cloth diapers, developmental milestones and my awesome BOB stroller. I'll be filling webland with adorable anecdotes and frustrated ramblings.
But in the mean time, let me just tell me about two things that cause my heart to burst:
1) My precious baby gained over a pound in one week.
2) My precious husband wrote us a song.
Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?
